oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
ok first of all what the fuck
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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