i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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