a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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