Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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