just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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