You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize