pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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