Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
