He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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