Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
