it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
