Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
