NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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