the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
