Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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