Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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