Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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