I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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