I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
