your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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