if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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