sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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