your thong is hanging out like whoa
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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