Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
...so i touched it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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