seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
