toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
