Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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