Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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