She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
