Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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