One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize