just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
