Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
