I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
