I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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