Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
