i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
