I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
