i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
