These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
