If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
