You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
