If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
