i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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