he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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