Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
