Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
