The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
