Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
