ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
