We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
