How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
