He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize