is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We need to get me chipped asap
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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