she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
