So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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