coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
