If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
