mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
