i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
