I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize