Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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