Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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