...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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