On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
