Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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