Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
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nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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