wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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