As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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