You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
