I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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