I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Four minutes until I can fart!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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