I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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