Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
