Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
