Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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