Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
